“We just feel they need a professional now.”
Mark said it so casually. He didn’t even look up from his plate. He just kept cutting his steak, completely unbothered by the fact that he was breaking my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.
“A professional?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, finally looking at me. “We hired a college girl. Her name is Brittany. She has a degree in early childhood development.”
“I raised you, Mark,” I whispered. My throat tightened so fast I couldn’t swallow my water. “I raised them for three years.”
“Mom, please don’t make this a thing.”
“A thing?”
“You need a break anyway,” he sighed, taking a sip of his wine. “And now that I got the promotion, we can afford twenty-five dollars an hour. It’s handled. You can just be a grandma now.”
I didn’t say another word. I didn’t scream. I just set my fork down. The silence in my head was deafening.
Let me back up. Because I need to confess how deeply pathetic I was. I need to admit that I let my own son use me until I had nothing left.
Three years ago, Mark’s wife walked out. Just left. Packed a bag and moved to California. Mark was completely devastated, completely broke, and working fifty hours a week to keep the mortgage paid.
I stepped in. I didn’t think twice.
I gave up my entire retirement for those kids. I didn’t go on a single vacation. I didn’t join a book club. I woke up at 6 AM every single morning. I drove to his house, made them breakfast, packed their lunches, and took them to school. I picked them up at 3 PM. I cooked dinner. I scrubbed crayon off the walls. I did their laundry.
I loved those kids with a ferocity that physically hurt. I was exhausted. I fell asleep in my clothes half the week. My back ached constantly. But I did it because they needed me. Because I was Nana.
When my grandson lost his first tooth, I was the one who put the dollar under his pillow.
I had a set of plastic magnetic letters on my refrigerator. They spelled out NANA’S HOUSE. My granddaughter arranged them herself.
I did it for free. Every single day. For three years.
